I had five minutes to get everyone on the right track before I walked out the door. I told my oldest daughter to get off the computer and concentrate for 10 minutes on helping my younger daughter; I told my husband he had 15 minutes before he had to leave, and asked if he needed me to set the timer.
In my head there was a loud, clatter of noise. This happens when there are four worlds crashing together; otherwise known as my family. I am the mama, so I am the glue, the nucleus of the household, the center of their world, the Herculean holder of their world or I'm their scapegoat, lackey, minion or peon; it depends on how you look at it.
It's kind of a glass half full/half empty conundrum. On the one hand, it's nice to be needed, on the other hand, it sucks to be depended upon. At my best, when I am able to direct them to solve their own problems, I feel like Hercules. At my worst, when things just won't snap into place, I feel like the scapegoat.
But I realize it's not how they choose to view me, it's how I choose to view me. I own being Hercules or the Scapegoat; depending on my mood, fatigue level, and mental fatigue level.
When I walked out of the house last night, I realized that none of the issues would even be important next week. They get resolved however they get resolved; whether it's good or bad.
It takes a lot of energy to carry four worlds on Herculean shoulders; or I could just jump on them and eat them like a scapegoat.