When I got home I realized I didn't have any room for my stuff. So this morning after I dropped my youngest off at the bus, I went to the store for my donation items (we adopt a charity every year during the retreat and collect items for them), and banked on the maintenance guy being at the church. Bless him! He was there and I unloaded my car.
Now I am home and writing this and sitting here anticipating all the stuff I need to collect for my project. But I always get this unsettling feeling I'm missing something. I don't live far from the church, so it's not a big deal if I need to come back home and get something. I don't think it stems from whether I forget a "thing," but that no matter how organized I get, something is still missing.
I think it's like Oprah always talks about gaining wealth after you've been poor, you always feel as if you could lose it (although I'd certainly like to try that someday). So in trying to get organized, I feel like there is still something missing. I say missing, because as I'm anticipating working on my kids' school books, I have the feeling there is something I haven't saved that will make it incomplete.
And then because I can go zero to disaster in 3.5 seconds, I start thinking of their baby books I haven't even done yet. They are 13 and 15 and although I think I've saved everything from their infant and toddler years, I still feel as if I'm missing something.
I remember when I first got the scrapbook supplies to do their baby books and my friends and I were talking about doing a page of pictures from every month of their first year. I started to panic because I knew I had tons of pictures of my oldest daughter from every month, but I wasn't sure if I had them of my youngest daughter. You know how it is when each 2nd, 3rd, 4th (I only have two) gets kinda left behind because you are busy maintaining the 1st? Well, there were many days I'd pack my youngest around when she was an infant while trying to keep up with my oldest and then realize I hadn't actually talked to my youngest all day.
So I immediately sat down and scraped the page of my youngest's first year. Admittedly, I had to sometimes use pictures from the same month, one was from the beginning and another from the end month, but I did a pretty good job of it.
Anyway, I suppose for someone who is keeping track of their children's history, I'm always going to remember something I've missed. But I think in the long run, my kids will feel loved, even if I feel there is something missing. Besides that, they're kids, they'll never know.